THE PILOT

One day while out looking around for some sport, 
I happened to pass by the local airport. 
There sat some contraption, just one of those things, 
Wheels and propellers, rudder and wings.
The paint was wore off, the fuselage looked dry, 
I musingly asked if the darn thing could fly. 
The pilot looked up with a bit of a grin, 
Says he, "If you doubt it step up and step in. 
I have just finished some minor repairs, 
I'm ready to try it, we'll take 'er upstairs. 
"Well, I climbed aboard it I'll never know why, 
This was my first time ever to fly. 
A soft breeze was blowing, the weather was fair, 
As we started boring that hole in the air. 
I was sort of enjoying my ride, so to say, 
Tho' the ground looked to me like a long ways away. 
Then all of a sudden that flimsy old coupe, 
Started to fall, then loop the loop. 
It was the worst deal I had ever been in, 
It sputtered and shivered and started to spin. 
The wings were creaking, the cables all sung, 
I grabbed for my belly and swallowed my tongue. 
The sweat oozed out of my cold clammy pores, 
I was sittin' on top of all out of doors. 
Then for some reason the thing leveled off, 
The motor did start with a spit and a cough. 
Then swift as an arrow the crazy thing sped, 
And buried it's self in a big thunder head. 
I looked at the pilot and thought, you poor creep, 
You'll pilot alright in a hot flaming heap. 
Then to my joy we circled the town, 
Back to tho airport, and headed her down. 
Said I to myself, if we ever do land, 
I'll keep both my feet on tho dirt and the sand.
Then that crazy pilot, bless his ornery soul,
Set down on the runway and started to roll.
The flight was all over, that featherless fowl,
Had sat down with the grace of a speckled barn owl,
My flying is finished, it's all in the past,
Two rides, both together, the first and the last,
How to you good people I solemnly swear,
Never again will I go in the air.

      <<prev                     next>>